Pastor's testimony

John 1:11-13

He came unto his own, and his own received him not.
But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name: Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.

Merton L. Jannusch's TESTIMONY
(Given in church on February 22, 1970)

I have told a number of people in private and in small gatherings of God’s great blessings in my life. I have told my former congregation while in Ohio a short while back.Now I want to tell you, my dear parishioners. I consider myself no more than a leader of equals, and since many of you over the years have shared what great things God has done for you I will take my turn. I also hope that you will rejoice with me in these great blessings God has showered upon me.

The Scripture upon which I base my testimony is found in Romans 10:20. The LORD says: “I was found by those who were not looking for ME, I appeared to those who were not asking for ME.” Surely this described me.
During our evangelism week last October I was hoping that the LORD would work in some of our weaker members and that HE would build up the strong. I was not looking for nor expecting much for myself. I thought I had everything CHRIST wanted to give me. Oh, I knew there were areas of my life which could be better, and I was looking for spiritual inspiration and growth – but, after all, I accepted everything in the Bible as true and valid; I defended the teachings of the Bible with vigor; I trusted in the cardinal doctrine of the Bible—justification by faith for CHRIST’S sake alone; I thought I trusted in CHRIST as my Savior; and I had assurance of salvation. But I had not surrendered my whole life to JESUS nor was HE in my life as LORD and Savior.
(I might add as a little aside: this which I thought was saving faith was merely an intellectual faith—it was not the genuine article. This also goes to show the strong delusion of Satan and how closely Satan can imitate the HOLY SPIRIT. Actually, not until I experienced the genuine faith as portrayed in the Bible was I able to distinguish between saving faith and a sham.)Also, when comparing my life with others and viewing my spiritual accomplishments, I assured myself that I far outstripped most others in most areas of Christian living and therefore I could experience little more than what I already had.Well, I listened to everything presented to every group that week, and it was good to see some people awakening to things I had already known. The evangelist stayed in our home, and he never once approached either me or my wife on spiritual matters. I was rather busy with many details, and I was getting tired out from early and late hours kept each day.
However, my wife was becoming bothered. For the first time in our marriage she came to me with a spiritual need. I had wanted to take a nap after lunch, and I was rather bothered that she would pick this time to come to me. I talked with her, eventually telling her that I actually could not help her with her needs. I did not know how to give her assurance of her salvation nor to unlock the door for her to receive assurance or forgiveness of her sins. (Since then, by the way, GOD has opened the way for me to clearly see and know and possess all of these blessings.)
I told my wife that I had seen one of our members pray with the visiting evangelist on the basis of some Bible verses, and I proceeded to explain to her what I had seen and heard. Somehow or other, when I had finished telling her what I had seen and heard the night before, I was led to ask her that we both pray together. I then prayed as I had heard this member pray. I asked the HOLY SPIRIT to show me my sins, to have them pass before my eyes, and to do that for me just then. The HOLY SPIRIT answered that prayer for me.I saw a number of sins in which I had been enslaved for years. HE showed me other sins, all of which I then laid out before the LORD and in my wife’s hearing. When I finished, I knew I had nowhere even begun to see them all, but I had been shown enough to know that I was the biggest sinner that Faith congregation would ever have—and I said so to my wife. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was lost in the sight of GOD—something I had never seen or felt before. At this point I could not stop. I asked the LORD to forgive and cleanse me, as HE had promised in 1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, HE is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” When I finished with this, I proceeded to give myself and all that I had to JESUS. I didn’t know where the power to do this came from, for I had tried to do this some years before but could not, nothing worked. Now I know the LORD had empowered everything through and on the authority of HIS HOLY WORD and the HOLY SPIRIT working in it and me, as St. Paul said, “It is GOD who worketh in you both to will and to do of HIS good pleasure.” I gave JESUS my life, my wife and children, my possessions, my congregation and my ministry, my future, my all. Then I continued to pray, asking JESUS to assume Lordship and control of me by coming into me, as HE said in Revelation 3:20: “Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if any man hear my voice and open the door, I will come in to him…” I thanked JESUS after all of these prayers, and my wife and I chatted awhile longer. The next day a new life began for me—and it has grown stronger and more wonderful since. The Bible has come alive so that it speaks to me as never before. I have been delivered from the enslaving power of my sins. Although I still sin, it has become such a tender thing that it must be dealt with at once. Our marriage has become wonderfully open and a new oneness in JESUS prevails. Our prayers have become more important and meaningful. Preaching has become a new joy. The ministry has taken on a deep compassion and love for people. The LORD has used me many times as a blessing in other people’s lives. I have a burning desire to witness for JESUS. I have a new and complete assurance that it is well with my soul, and JESUS and HIS will occupy just about my every waking thought.
Seeking to fully understand what had come upon me, as well as to be ready to give an answer for the hope that is within me, I have read in the Bible, the Lutheran Confessions of 1580, some of Luther’s commentaries, C.f.W. Walther’s Law and Gospel, and others – and I found, in essence, that I had wandered away from my baptism. I had never renewed my baptismal covenant nor was I living in my baptism daily.
What I am testifying to in my life is not a step in sanctification or a growth in faith. This is not a new set of terms for something I had already been doing. This is conversion in all its wonderful simplicity. Had I died prior to this I would have been lost eternally. In spite of all that I professed in great sincerity, being completely honest with what I taught and what I was, I was still an unconverted pastor.
This is not a new teaching, but rather a return to the historical, Confessional position of our church. It is an actual renewal of the baptismal vow, as taught in Luther’s Small Catechism. By GOD’S mercy HE preserved me in the truth and kept the office of the ministry relatively untarnished, but I had little or none of HIS power. I have reviewed some of my previous sermons, and these same things were said in great clarity—but I myself had not done them.
I thank the LORD that by HIS pure grace and mercy HE has called and chosen me—a poor, unworthy, lost sinner—to such a blessed and saving relationship with JESUS. I am available for HIS use in whatever way HE now chooses, and I desire that all may share the fullness of the forgiving grace of GOD in union with JESUS CHRIST even as I do. This testimony should go to show that GOD has no favorites. Thank you.